Given a vexing, dangerous, and complicated problem like North Korea, Progressives reduce the issue to school-boy sniggering about sexual prowess.
One of the things that distinguishes Progressives from Conservatives is that the former are certain that they’re very smart. For example, they point out that wealthy Blue enclaves have a disproportionate number of America’s college graduates. This argument erroneously conflates intelligence with a college degree, something that has some virtue on the STEM side of college but is laughable when it comes to the liberal arts.
The same argument also erroneously conflates academic prowess (which is a form of intelligence) with wisdom or ethical sense. In the face of that argument, I always like to point out that Radovan Karadžić was a psychiatrist. That didn’t stop his genocidal mania.
Progressives also like to boast that all sorts of scientific studies show that they’re smarter than Conservatives. They haven’t quite grasped, of course, that social science studies are never really scientific because objectivity is impossible and biases seem inevitable.
You probably remember that a much-lauded study proclaiming that conservatives are psychotic had to be retracted entirely because the study’s results were reversed. In fact, it was the Progressives who showed more psychotic traits.
That’s not the only purportedly scientific study slamming conservatives. Universities routinely churn out studies showing that Conservatives are stupid, ill-informed, evil creatures. Lost in this self-defined world, they’re shocked when reputable polls show that Conservatives are actually more knowledgeable than Progressives.
Progressives also struggle to understand complaints that their methodology shows bias. It didn’t seem to occur to them that, if you prepare a study examining whether children in religious or atheist households are more moral or generous, you’re going to get skewed results if all your metrics are about Progressive ethics (morality is shown by being open to transgenderism) instead of being about Conservative ethics (personal generosity to the poor).
In the real world, outside the Left-leaning Ivory Towers, Conservatives are consistently more generous with their own money. Progressives too often limit themselves to being generous with other people’s money, something that’s not generous at all.
Progressives also enjoy laughing at how “hick-like” Conservatives are. Progressives are hip, edgy people who understand Frank Gehry’s deconstructionist architecture, while Conservatives are yokels who howl along with country music and shop at Wal-Mart.
I could play this game forever, but I think you get the point: Progressives, in their own minds, are deep thinkers with an unerring sense of what’s smart and morally right. Their positions reflect an intelligent approach to and understanding of the world’s problems.
So why is it, then, that given the chance, Progressives always reduce everything to fecal matter and crude sexuality? I’ve written about the fecal obsession before, so I won’t repeat it here. Today, I’m writing about the crude sexuality, which is where the “Not Safe For Work” warning comes in.
You see, there’s been a picture circulating on my Facebook page purporting to explain precisely what’s happening vis-a-vis North Korea. In line with standard Progressive thinking, the picture argues that what’s happening now between the U.S. and North Korea doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that North Korea has powerful nuclear weapons. It’s unrelated to the fact that North Korea is on the verge of successfully attaching those weapons to long-range missiles capable of hitting Guam, Hawaii, or America’s west coast. It’s irrelevant to the fact that North Korea has been aggressively partnering with Iran, which has been in a perpetual state of war against America and the West since 1979, to help Iran’s nascent nuclear program (a program that received a huge cash infusion thanks to Obama). And says the picture, our current fraught situation is disconnected from the fact that Kim Jong-un has been openly and aggressively threatening America’s existence for months now.
None of those undisputed facts about North Korea matter to the sophisticated thinkers on the Left. Here’s what matters (and here’s the NSFW part):
You are not imagining what you see. To Progressives, Trump is not stopping a 25 year retreat that allowed North Korea to become a nuclear nation. Instead, the current crisis is all about two fat men comparing (and lying about) their relative penis size.
Or, as my friend Wolf Howling summed it up:
For these proggies, Trump is not portrayed as our leader dealing with a problem that should have been dealt with by Clinton, Bush, or Obama, nor is he portrayed as responding to the real existential threat that underlies Kim’s own boasting about his prowess. The mere fact of Trump responding with any sort of threats to neutralize the existential threat Kim poses, trying to get him to change his ways before this inevitably leads to acts of violence, is portrayed as without substance, an act of pure personal ego Trump’s part.
The funny thing is you’d think that even the Progressives would understand that, if you do indeed reduce this dangerous stand-off to a “who’s bigger?” fight, Trump still comes out on top. We all know, after all the Progressive theory tying guns to penis size — and, boy, does the U.S. have North Korea out-gunned.